The Back-out King

Titles earned in competitions will never be the gauge for one's crown, it's the choices he makes.

I quit
Quit. Image from Collectively.org
In my younger days, I am a staple of local pageants, being pushed by people who believe in my capacity. Not to bragged, I won most of the competitions I joined. The fruits were enjoyable and juicy but somehow I haven't learned from the experiences and failed to use it as a tool to grow.

There were momentarily 'highs' especially when people around me were happy because of my 'achievements', as what they called it. But inside me, a winning fake smile painted on stage can never compensate a genuine laugh in being real.

I'm really tired of doing things just to please other people especially those who are close to me. I know that they only want me to follow what they think is the best and always encourage me to stay in the track of the degree I earned. However, I can't find happiness and self-fulfillment in doing full-time and routine laboratory jobs. My passion is in the field I traversed unexpectedly and have learned to loved.

Last year, I joined a review program in preparation for the chemist licensure exam. Yet after a few days, I quit. Just recently, I unwillingly signed as a Quality Assurance analyst for a production plant. But before that, I already conditioned myself to join a start-up company as a researcher and writer. A job I really wanted to explore knowing the unlimited opportunities online. However, my parents wanted me to practice my degree and told me to accept the laboratory job. So, I did.

I wasn't happy with what I was doing inside the plant that despite the warm welcome of my colleagues, there was no enthusiasm of waking up early to work. I know I am very capable of the job. I've spent five long years in college to master laboratory skills and understand the governing principles. Yet, I was not happy. So again, I quit.

To count, it was my second major back-out in a row. I just hope that opportunities will continue knocking on my door even I wasted many of them.

This post is part of the #TheSteeringWheel series, a blog special on the decisions and choices made by Pinoy Highlander. 

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