The missing piece

Few months ago I turned down a life-changing opportunity. Not because there were better options laid, at that time there were none, but because I was afraid to take a risk, get out of my comfort zone and most of all, I was afraid of the unforeseen.

Pinoy Highlander. The missing piece


But what if I didn't turned it down? What if I conquered cowardice and bravely face the unknown? Will everything be better?

In some ways I regret the decision I hastily made. I know that the opportunity will never knock on my door again. But somewhat, it showed abruptly and when I was facing it, I realized that a part of me was lacking. That there was something making me incomplete and feeling weak. And at that time,  I can't figure out what was missing.

With the experiences and challenges I encountered before the opportunity revealed itself, I can say that I was physically and mentally ready when it comes.  As with the resources, there were more than enough to be exploited. But a missing gear will always makes a machine unstable or even, in certain instances, useless, wasting its essence. It took me months to realize the missing piece and when I found it, I was not surprised. I lack faith in God, a truth I cannot deny.

I read books but never finished a page of the Bible. I pray to a God whom I do not know well. I believe He's out there but deny His participation to the existing. I stand on the doctrine of cause and effect and roll my eyes when people says everything happens because it's his will. I'm not an atheist but I think I am stuck in the middle of the two extremes.

In my younger years, my parents filled our shelves with books: encyclopedias, atlas, Arthur S. Maxwell's The Bible Story and many others. But my interest was hooked on the experiment-filled Science books. I tried most of the kitchen experiments I found in the glossy and spectacularly illustrated pages and was fascinated by the world of physical evidence and explanations. There were also times that I flipped a Maxwell but, if my memory serves me right, I only finished the chapter entitled In the Beginning. I found it less interesting compared to the pages that explain the phenomenons with systematically gathered evidence and often contradict the religious dogma.

Now, I want to fill the gap that makes me weak. Fit the missing gear that will make me more human and be bounded to the will of my creator.

I want to know Him not because I want another chance of the opportunity I missed. I want to know him because I recognize that it is only His presence in every aspect of my life will make me complete.

Have you experienced His existence in your life? Share your story in the comments section below for it may help people like me.

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